REFLECTIONS: 10 LESSONS OF 2021

Back in June 2019 I wrote about "Ten things I have learned in life until now", a long compilation of realizations I had throughout my existence up until that point. It was a pretty long-winded piece but if you’re up for it follow the link.

At that time I remember sitting many consecutive days by this pond surrounded by green within my university, just looking at the water ripples trying to find an answer that wouldn’t come.

“What the hell am I doing in life?”

The water just reflected a distorted image of myself but heralded no answers.

Sometimes it’s important to stop and reflect, look back, and realize where you have moved from and what you have learned. Perhaps some answers can be found there.

--- fast forward to today---

I’m not at the pond this time. I’m watching the snow fall outside my window. There is a full moon too, illuminating a mountain landscape.

The last two years have been a little… chaotic? Abnormal in ways I can say.

If I have to try to answer,

“What the hell am I doing in life?”

Does having a journey suffice?

This time, upon reflection. Somehow, yes.

Today I came across an old blog I had written in September 2013. I was 20.

The words that jumped out:

“I don’t want to go to Japan. I NEED to go to Japan.”

At that time I felt like I knew nothing, that because I had experienced very little I didn’t know myself. I had spent most of my life close to my family and was scared to try new things. I hated myself for that. I also loved to write but felt my current self had no words of importance to share.

Frustrated, I knew I needed something extreme to change. So I threw myself in the most terrifying situation I could think of to see how I would survive.

That was Japan for me. Alone. A lot of new things.

“(...) maybe in my journey I will find that I am meant to write; a childhood dream that has been close to my heart. Or maybe I will find something more about myself.”

“I just want to feel the experiences myself that the characters have experienced in the printed words I have read.”

(some old words from that past me).

No wonder I have been living getting myself into the most ridiculous situations.

So, yes. Reflection. My 2021, some of my final few pages of this extended Japan journey too (unless there is a sequel, who knows?).

Here are 10 new lessons and some reminders from 2021.

(1. ) No one can be everything. Different relationships give us different things. Views, conversation, support, advice… Never expect your needs to be fulfilled by a single individual and never think you can do the same for someone else.

(2. ) There will be times when you just want to shut yourself away. That’s okay. Don’t force yourself to be social when you can’t. Focus on recharging, focusing on yourself, before taking the world on.

(3. ) Don’t worry about others feelings all the time because more often than not they don’t care about yours. Save your energy for those who matter.

(4. ) Sometimes people really don’t notice their actions could be affecting others unless you say so. Don’t assume they are being intentionally cruel.

(5. ) Anger isn’t bad. It is a natural emotion that we must accept and express. Holding it back will just waste your energy and once your energy is gone it will escape in an outburst that will burn. Don’t let anger fester. If someone wrongs you, let them know calmly and show that you respect yourself not to be walked across. See the change that expression rather than denial of anger can bring.

(6. ) The traits of others that we dislike are often traits we have within ourselves but have dismissed the existence of. Experiences in our lives have led us to believe certain traits are bad so we disassociate with them. The truth is, if we think really hard even the worst trait, we could be possible of expressing given the right circumstances. Until we embrace these tossed aside traits people possessing them will continue to anger us. (A new perspective introduced by the Author Debbie Ford).

(7. ) The traits of others that we envy or find alluring can point us to good traits of our own that we aren’t accepting we can possess inside ourselves.

(8. ) Putting something on hold doesn’t necessarily mean you’re missing your chance or giving up. Unless you think it is. If you really want something enough you’ll find a way to get it.

(9. ) Sometimes the things you love the most about a person are the things you also hate. Sometimes the most rewarding experiences are horrible ones. Good in bad, bad in good. Nothing is black and white ever.

(10. ) If you don’t define what is a valuable way to spend your time you will continue to waste it. (Time, money, love, fucks too).

--- Referenced old blog: https://agaijincandream.wordpress.com/2013/09/